The Whole World and Me

I want that love that moved the mountains.

I want that love that split the ocean.

I want that love that made winds tremble.

I want that love that roared like thunder.

I want that love that will raise the dead.

I want that love that lifts us to ecstasy.

I want that love that is the silence of eternity...

-Rumi-

The part of a person that some people believe continues to exist in some format after the body has died, or the part of a person or thing that expresses the basic qualities that make it what it is.

MATE noun

A friend or a person you work with

SOULMATE noun

Someone, usually your romantic or sexual partner with whom you have a special relationship with and who you know and love very much.

Elizabeth Gilbert - Eat, Pray, Love

"People think a soulmate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone want. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soulmate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake, But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soulmate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and additions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..." 

The temple of love is not love itself;

True love is the treasure,

Not the walls about it.

Do not admire the decoration,

But involve yourself in the essence,

The perfume that invades and touches you

The beginning and the end.

Discovered, this replace all else,

The apparent and the unknowable.

Time and space are slaves to this presence.

Rumi

After I told you about my first experience in the dating market since I'm single (here), I found myself on the other end of that conversation: how's the dating scene for a 30-something guy.

My new friend (I'm always surprise when I make new friends nowadays... I will have to write a post about this soon!) was telling me how he found my post funny and how he has a similar and yet different experience from me. 

So, what is it like for a 30-something guy?

First, I should clarify a couple of things: he's successful, he's good looking, he is educated and has several interests in music, books, film, art, etc and he's the proud father of three children. These said, he tells me he finds mainly two types of women:

- "I'm thirty and I want to have kids... NOW!!"

- "I've just ended a long relationship and I'm in serious need of some ego nurturing"

Hum... it got me thinking.

For one, I have to say, I don't find myself in any of these categories or profiles. Yes, maybe a little bit on the second one, but my ego is just fine, so no need for nurturing!

But, I see what he means, I really do. This is something that has been going around since women emancipated themselves. It comes a time when pretty much every woman on the planet starts hearing this ticking sound... it starts really low, then it gets stronger and one day your need to mate it's just unbearable! I believe this is why there are so many single/divorced parents nowadays, well... at least one of the reasons why!

As for the second profile, well rebound relationships have been around since... what? Ever? Frankly, I think this profile fits women and men alike. We all need a rebound every now and then, just someone to make us feel good about ourselves. Right?

At the end of the day, maybe the dating scene is filled with profiles and generalizations, that's a fact. And maybe we will stumble upon these profiles and, in turn, fit in some of them as well. 

The bottom line is this: the dating scene is challenging and difficult, more so as we get older. We are more demanding and we know what we want, which makes everything harder, not easier. We have been broken, we have been made whole again... And in this process we've learned to love and be loved, and to be sad, and angry, and desperate, and happy, really happy. 

My only hope is... after as many bad dates as one can get, we are bound to feel those butterflies again, right? Right?... 

Well, now I just hear crickets!!! ;)

You know I love a great love story, more so when it involves some type of art form.

For this reason, I was mesmerized by these photos taken by the russian photographer Murad Osmann.

It all started on a vacation in Barcelona where Murad was with his girlfriend, Nataly Zakharova. She was annoyed with him because he was always staying behind to take photos, so she took his hand to try to pull him forward... the first picture was taken and an amazing project was born!

The series "I will follow you to the ends of the earth" continued with locations such as Russia, Venice, Hong Kong, Paris, Singapore and others. Posted on Instagram, they became a fast success and a love story which has travelled the globe!

I'm in love with this idea, with the images, with the name of the project, with EVERYTHING basically!

They were the cutest couple and this picture is just wonderful... you can almost feel their intimacy...

LOVE!

Going through a break up in a healthy and mature way seems to be so improbable that most of my friends seem to be waiting for me to fall apart at any moment. 

The questions "Are you ok? But are you really ok?" have been haunting me lately and I just want to say at the top of my lungs that I'm fine, seriously fine! Am I sad? Well, yes. But each day is a new day and things get easier and better. The fact is, I've already had the "bad break up phase" before and so, now, I'm just getting used to my new life and my new routines. 

I think the most difficult thing was really the latter: getting a new routine. But once you settle with a new schedule, things just start to move forward. 

So, honestly, please don't worry, because I'm really fine. More than fine, I'm certain of our decision and comfortable with my new life. I'm in this glorious new  process of finding myself and redefining my beliefs... It's scary, but also exciting. And although my feet do miss him every night in bed :), I'm slowly learning how to take this feeling and use it to move ahead and not backwards.

I love you all for caring so much and for all your worried phone calls and texts, but be sure that I'm really a Catwoman and I always land on my feet (even if I have to lay down on a corner and cry for a bit!). 

I love you and I thank you my dear friends :)

And for all of you out there going through something similar, breathe in and out... It will get easier!

I promise!

xx

When it comes to relationships, my whole point of view has changed. Drastically!

I'm a romantic, you know this! But my romantic view of relationships is sadly gone... don't really know if it will return! Furthermore, I've recently discovered that what I really crave in a relationship is not so much the romantic gestures, but real intimacy... something that is harder and harder to achieve.

One of my best friends told me years ago, after a 12 year relationship, that from then on we would never face a relationship the same way. You get hurt and you learn people tend to evolve, and not always in the same direction. And so, even though you may feel your relationship is forever and ever, one day you can realize it actually isn't. So he felt that when he eventually found someone, he would always be "afraid" and guarded, because experience has taught him nothing lasts forever. This doesn't mean he isn't romantic... He is, on his better days!, and very much in love with a gorgeous, wonderful girl. I hope they last forever...

However, now I know where he was coming from all those years ago. He was just playing it safe and wise. 

And that's what is happening to me ... I feel I will never look at a relationship the same way, it's a whole new world people! and nothing will be the same! I truly believed, with all my body and soul, that my last relationship was THE one. I was done. "happily ever after"? Checked! Done! Until it wasn't... 

If I can't trust my own feelings, how can I trust someone else's'? If I was so convinced, if I was so right and so wrong at the same time, how can I even begin to imagine I could ever have a relationship that will last forever?

Well, I won't have it. That's my answer. Forever is now and that's what really matters! We spend too much time planning, thinking we will have time to do everything we want, one day, some day... But that day may never come. So what's the solution? One day at the time, think in terms of "now" and not in terms of "tomorrow". And that's my new point of view... A new found wisdom I'm still trying on...

But one thing I can say with all my heart and mind: I still believe in love. And although I'm not sure when and if I will ever be ready for it, I hope I find it again!

xx

Yesterday evening, I entertained myself with mindless zapping and ended up at E! where the reality show "Ice and Coco" was ending. I indulged my curiosity and watched as Coco negotiated a show in Vegas, wondering who would want to see Coco perform and mostly what was her talent ! (it's a peep show by the way...). After the negotiation, Ice and Coco met with her mother to tell her the news. The show would take Coco to Vegas for at least three months. Her mother looked Ice in the eyes and asked what did he think about all this. And Ice, with a surprising clarity, replied: "Loving someone is not looking into each others eyes, but in the same direction.". Wow! It stuck with me, maybe because it was said by someone I didn't expect and it got me thinking.

He's right! Love will only stand the test of time if the two people look in the same direction and try to reach the same goals. I mean, if two people love each other but want different things out of life, will their love survive?... Not really wanting to think about this deeply, I find myself agreeing with Ice (who knew!).

Love is mostly about a common life plan, a road that both parties should walk together, hand in hand, with the same end zone in mind. Right?