When it comes to relationships, my whole point of view has changed. Drastically!

I'm a romantic, you know this! But my romantic view of relationships is sadly gone... don't really know if it will return! Furthermore, I've recently discovered that what I really crave in a relationship is not so much the romantic gestures, but real intimacy... something that is harder and harder to achieve.

One of my best friends told me years ago, after a 12 year relationship, that from then on we would never face a relationship the same way. You get hurt and you learn people tend to evolve, and not always in the same direction. And so, even though you may feel your relationship is forever and ever, one day you can realize it actually isn't. So he felt that when he eventually found someone, he would always be "afraid" and guarded, because experience has taught him nothing lasts forever. This doesn't mean he isn't romantic... He is, on his better days!, and very much in love with a gorgeous, wonderful girl. I hope they last forever...

However, now I know where he was coming from all those years ago. He was just playing it safe and wise. 

And that's what is happening to me ... I feel I will never look at a relationship the same way, it's a whole new world people! and nothing will be the same! I truly believed, with all my body and soul, that my last relationship was THE one. I was done. "happily ever after"? Checked! Done! Until it wasn't... 

If I can't trust my own feelings, how can I trust someone else's'? If I was so convinced, if I was so right and so wrong at the same time, how can I even begin to imagine I could ever have a relationship that will last forever?

Well, I won't have it. That's my answer. Forever is now and that's what really matters! We spend too much time planning, thinking we will have time to do everything we want, one day, some day... But that day may never come. So what's the solution? One day at the time, think in terms of "now" and not in terms of "tomorrow". And that's my new point of view... A new found wisdom I'm still trying on...

But one thing I can say with all my heart and mind: I still believe in love. And although I'm not sure when and if I will ever be ready for it, I hope I find it again!

xx