is in fact my own mind.

Lately I have notice how my mind is the first to put barriers up, to put forward difficulties and to make me doubt myself. In this neverending war between my heart and my head, it seems like my head has the bigger voice and honestly... I'm tired of it.

I wish I could find a way to drown my own voices and to be confident enough so I don't have to listen to every little doubt that is whispered in my mind. In the end, this is just a big testimony of how fragile and insecure I really am... It's hard for me to believe certain things and this is when my mind shows its ugliest face. 

Why is it so hard to belive that someone can like me... even love me? Why do I doubt my professional abilities? Why do other people's comments and compliments matter less to me than my own insecurities?

The problem is that I listen to them... I let these silly little warms become giant caterpillars that mine all my judgement. Suddenly, the strong woman who is brave enough to face the world straight ahead, turns into a scared little girl who just wants to give up and hide in the corner. 

This unbalance is shattering me... 

I guess we all have insecurities. What separates the strong from the weak is the way we handle them. Will you take these doubts and use them to fuel your strength? Or will you hold on to them as they are the only truth in this world? I'm afraid to answer this question out loud...

Mind games are dangerous traps... I keep falling and falling into them, even though I know, I am conscious, that I shouldn't. Deep down I know I am better and stronger than this, but there's something that keeps pulling me down... 

I feel almost stupid writing these lines, you know? But what can I say? This blog is also a way for me to exorcise certain things and writing does help.